I hate burpees

It has begun!

Monday

I went to the gym ready to roll.....

First I had to do the x-trainer & bike (easy as I can read my kindle on those so I am distracted) and then I had to try running…. Let the suffering begin.

I did feel good though pounding the treadmill (I'm a very noisy runner!)

My body had a very slight recollection of running three marathons, I didn't have endurance, it hurt but it felt good to be back. Think how gorgeous my legs will look!

Speaking of legs, my dream is to have my thighs NOT touching (you know my running trousers actually have a whole in them now from wear and tear - not a good look trying to do sumo squats with a massive hole in your inner thigh seam!)

So after the gym equipment I went outside to do the rest of the training…. Step ups, crunches, squat jumps and burpees … OMG how much do I HATE burpees they are evil, evil things (mine look nothing like this dude <click here to see a ridiculous enthusiastic guy do burpees>).

What’s worse is where I was excercising is overlooked by a school!

I’m sure the day dreaming students who were staring out the window got great entertainment watching me cheat my way through 30 burpees.

By the end of the hour I was puffing, red faced, sweaty beast... and this is day one!

On the food front I did well. I am not really following Mentor Ms program as I can’t get a lot of the food she recommends, but I have been good and counting the calories. I clocked 1119 (of my 1200 allowance).

Tuesday

Today was a tonning day (still had bloody burpees though).

I was doing the weights and my inner Rocky was truly celebrating (I swear I could hear 'Gonna Fly Now' playing in the background... mm maybe that was my iPod??). I felt soooo cool 'look at me doing these weights', I felt like a  real tough chick doing the bicep curls (I curled the whole 3 whole killograms – please don’t laugh and disrupt my inner Rocky doing his ‘top of the stairs dance' )

So after pounding the raw meat, I had to go outside do crunches, squats and burpees (in the rain mind you!)

So a couple of things I learnt about myself

1.    I count out loud… how embarrassing, I only realized when the ipod did a song change.

2.    I hate burpees

3.    Don’t wear a necklace… it smacks your teeth every squat jump/burpee/pushup!

4.    I HATE burpees

5.    I can count 60 seconds real fast when holding a plank (naughty…  yes Mentor M I now use the timer and don’t cheat)
6. I really really hate burpees

Wednesday

It has only been three days but it is 'weigh in day' (every Wednesday)… I’ve lost 800g. 

But I think that is all the water from sweating like a pscyo in the Singapore weather while doing bloody burpees (I HATE burpees!). The problem with Singapore is I can handle it being 32 degrees but 79% humidity is a killer.....

........ So I finish, have a shower and keep sweating for the next 40mins. Which is not good when I am trying to dress for work and the chances of putting makeup is nill to fudge-all! It drips off……. My face is literally melting!!

Anyway that’s my story so far (do I seriously have to do this 6 times a week????)

By the way: I hate burpees ….

Up, up and away….

Kick off!!

It all kicks off TOMORROW!!

Will I be disciplined enough?

Will this make a difference?

So the rules are:

• Exercise an hour a day 
• Be self disciplined with what I eat (no iced mochas or TimTams) and 
• Overall change my way of living

At the end of the 12 weeks I hope to feel healthy, feel good about myself and to fit into my nice clothes again.

I admit I am nervous, the program is slightly overwhelming.

I am also concerned about where I will find the time to do all this exercise. 

It’s Week One and I already am not sure if I can squeeze in the exercise with all that's going on this week (am I really going to fail on the first week?)

So this week I had to do my measurements and take a ‘before’ photo.

36-24-36 ummmmm, not quite… actually I nearly ran out of measuring tape on the bottom half.

The before photos of me in my underwear produced some scary images… I did have this fear I’d hit ‘all staff’ when I emailed it to myself … now that would have left me with some explaining to do…

So after tomorrow,  I will never again say I'll start tomorrow..

so here we go.... 

                          up, up and away

Guilt

Am I ever not feeling guilty?

What am I guilty of... well here are some of the reasons on the list...

• For not spending enough time with bubs
• Eating the wrong food
• Not exercising
• Not doing my uni work
• Not looking after the house enough
• Not cooking nice dinner
• Not being a good wife
• Not staying in contact with my friends

Every time I am doing something – I seem to feel guilty, because I feel I should be doing something else.

When I was on maternity leave and a stay at home mum – I felt guilty because I wasn’t working. 

Now I am back working I feel guilty I’m not with my baby… and then I feel guilty because I’m only working part-time… 

After the guilt (or because of) there comes the ‘justification’.

When I was on maternity leave I felt I always had to justify, ‘Well, I am at home with the baby now, but I am a superhero usually.’

When we moved countries, I gave up my job as a superhero and am now a part-time non-superhero…  So of course, I still feel I have to justify what I once was… ‘I’m a part-time non-superhero now… but last year I was a superhero…’

I think some of the guilt and justification is because I feel I have lost some of my identity since I became a mum… My life was my work… now what is my life?  - my child? well yes (I have to say that don't I?), but do I have to give up 'me'? … I am part of the ‘Have it all’ generation… I am embodying ‘female choice, autonomy, consumerism and aesthetic perfection whilst denying a space for drudgery or confinement to the home’ (can I just say that ref: Allen & Osgood was pulled from my thesis – to prove I do get some Uni work done… sometimes… why I eat chocolate… and don’t do the house work… and don’t play with the baby… and don’t go to the gym….. and am generally a bad person). I blame it on the expectation to be the perfect 'yummy mummy'.

Anyway, speaking of 'yummy mummy' the Body Transformation task this week – Mentor M has me emptying the kitchen cupboards of all things evil.

The task was to put the rubbish bin into the middle of the room, open the cupboards and throw everything out that is bad… now come on MM – if that doesn't make someone feel guilty I don't know what does! There is nothing worse than throwing out perfectly ‘good’ food – at least let me eat it in one big feast… and feel guilty about that!

To be honest there actually wasn't that much naughty food in our kitchen (when someone uses the words ‘to be honest’, they are soooo lying  – it’s like saying ‘not being mean, but’… just before you verbally abuse the person).

Therefore I’ll be honest, there is (was) a packet of Tim Tams…to justify (as I always do)...there is a story about why they were there, it entails – a Visitor coming, buying biscuits, Ramadan, Biscuits still here… Yes visitor was fasting! Actually, lucky when he got here he mentioned he had to get back for the prayers before the husband could offer the biscuits (how's that for cruelty - waving TimTams around while someone is fasting! Now that would be something to feel guilty about!!), so Tim Tams are (were) still in the cupboard.

So all the junk food is to be eradicated, that’s all the sugary, processed foods, soft drinks, cordials and juices, all to be replaced with healthy foods.

As I was saying, to be honest (mmm), there isn’t that much junk in the cupboards, probably because if there was I’d have eaten it already…. For example, as you've probably guessed the Tim Tams aren’t there any more, I really suck at the self discipline. That is the whole reason we are doing this task, hey MM? 

So now, after feeling guilty for having the stuff in the cupboard, then guilty for getting rid of it, I feel guilty, for feeling guilty all the time......

I can never win!!

up, up and away....

  

Say It Out Loud

Oh no, hitting the first downer….

I ate lots of naughty things this week and scales don’t look good… haven’t been to the gym for three days either… Alright, alright I confess, I’ve actually put on 1kg but please, please, please don’t tell Mentor M… I’ll lose it before next weigh in I promise (actually I will skip the next weigh in and she'll never know)... next weigh in I'll pretend I’ve maintained (the thing is, I have actually lost 2kg since I started blogging so now I've only lost 1kg.. The shame...)

But you see living I'm living in Singapore... someone suggested finding a pizza place, I haven't had pizza in 6 months!!... then a kids party... cupcakes... National day... wine and nibbles... oh dear...

It’s okay… I’ve not officially started… I still have 16 days to get my mind set unscrambled (official start day is the 27th of August)... remember this is pre-season... man I really have to stop this self (blog) justification!

Okay it’s time to take it up a notch…Mentor M says it’s pledge time this week…

I think I have worked out why MM is making us do this pledge. I ‘ve already noticed that having told people about this does make a difference.

I was at a friend’s and I went to eat crisps… ‘How’s the diet going?’ she asks, as they make it half way to my month…

‘Ummm, I haven’t officially started yet,’ I reply,  as I stuff the crisps in my face, ‘But I don’t buy chocolate any more.’ I justify as I wipe the crumbs away.

But I did feel guilty…. So do you think that is why MM makes us say it out loud?

So 'The Pledge'  here goes:

'I pledge allegiance to the flag of…' sorry couldn’t resist….you were all thinking it weren't you? (or just me who watches way too much American TV?)... alright, I'll try again.. (I'm stalling, this 'Pledge thing' feels really corny). Alright MM says do it:

"I, ‘Not-Superwoman’, make a commitment to the universe & all my blog readers to get to 59kg and be fitter and toned. No matter how long it takes.

I will work as hard as I need to, to achieve this goal and I am committed to do the work I need to do to get me there."

Okay it is out there.... floating in the universe... I said it out loud... we shake on it!

I will reach this pledge by committing to exercising and watching my food intake (that doesn’t mean watch it as it gets stuffed in my face.

I am committed to stop procrastinating and start making changes! 

No longer will I think, " I’ll start tomorrow.." Well as of the 27th of August I will no longer think "I’ll start tomorrow.." 

I WILL START ON THE 27th of AUGUST and not look back!!!

I will give you 100%... you know…I really hate it when people say 110%.. there is no such thing is there? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having the number 100%... if you’re allowed to add then 110% isn’t that much.. it would have to be 100& billion%?? It's really confusing... so I’ll say 100% and you know what I mean.

I WILL give 100% because 100% means everything...

All right… time to stop feeling guilty for being naughty and try & try again..

up, up and away...

Taking Control

Setting My Goals

So I have been set the challenge to write S.M.A.R.T goals. SMART is an mnemonic for: 

Specific/Measureable/Achievable/Realistic/Time Based.

(you know I just wanted to throw in the word mnemonic to look smart - not the mnemonic version, the one who is characterised by sharp quick thought... who is amusingly clever and witty as well as canny and shrewd... gosh I love thefreedictionary.com).

So any way..... here it is.... 

In the next 12 weeks, I want to lose 12 kg and look like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2.

(oh alright... If I can't be 'Sarah Connor' I'll settle for  toned, stronger and fitter).

So I better break it all down…

The Short term Goals:

1 month (September)

To weigh 66kg

• No Chocolate (does an Ice Mocha count?)
• 30 mins gym 5 days a week

2 Month (October)

To weigh 63kg

• No Sugar (seriously, I need to know - does an Ice Mocha count??)
• No alcohol (too bloody expensive in Singapore anyway)
• No Junk (subject to interpretation)
• 40 mins Gym 5 days a week.

3 month (November)

To weigh 59kg (and look like Sarah Connor)...

• all the above
• 50 mins gym 5 days a week.

Okay so by the end I should fit back into my pre-baby clothes.. but considering they are all London-cold-gloomy-no-colour clothes my reward to self is ....(please note: mentor M says you have to tie your goals in with a reward… so I am only doing as I am told okay) is to buy NEW CLOTHES!! YAH!!! (with all the $$ I saved on the 'no' list!)

Here is the thing though… as I am living in Singapore… where the average weight of a woman is 55kg shopping is a nightmare! Currently I pick up a pair of trousers and before I can even ask for a size 12 (I'm lying... I'm a size 14).... I hear the sales assistant say.. ‘We don't stock larger than a 10...’. 

%$£@!!!!

Therefore, my shopping spree will have to be back home in OZ…So my reward to self is a trip to OZ... YAH!!!

Also I have a deal with ‘The Man’... If I hit my wedding day weight (59kg - seven years ago) I get a pressie… something shiny is all I ask for…

So to the long term goal:

6 months (February)… to still weigh 59 kg… mmm that’s probably the hardest goal to reach... we'll talk about 'maintaining' on another day...

So as I said in ‘Oh No.... Mr Grey.....’ I need an official start date… and I have one... it’s in 22 days time, as per mentor M's guidance (in am in ‘pre-season’ at the moment, that's for getting my mental-self ready). You see timing is everything.

Take my morning bus ride for example.

My bus journey gives me just enough time to to look smart (the fashionable; elegant version this time...I really do love thefreedictionary.com). This involves changing my shoes (flats to heels), putting on my jacket (ready to go from 31 degrees to sub zero in the air conditioning).... and of course time to check the morning emails… okay the fb updates. It's like clock work... 

I love timing, I love routine...

I hate disruption...

.....like last week when I got on the wrong bus (159 and 157 look very similar when you aren’t wearing your glasses). Then… I had just enough time to change my shoes, put on my jacket. check morning emails/ fb updates, panic… .hit the bell, stumble off the bus (why do I put the bloody heels on before I get to my desk?)… get on another wrong bus… hit the bell… step in middle of a main road to stop a cab (mmm maybe the heels were an advantage here?).... Freak out that the driver doesn’t know the way (& problems with me not being about to pronounce in mandarin where I'm going.... Thank god for google maps and universal language of pointing!!!)

So disruption…. Being ready for the hiccups along the way… what I really don’t want to do is give up if I fall off the wagon. If (when) I slip up.. I have to be willing to just keep going... and not give up until I have another 'official' start... I am going to stick to what Mentor M told me in ‘no more excuses…’ Don’t think… Just do it (no that isn’t a product placement…) because ‘I’m worth it ‘(no that wasn’t a product placement) either..  My philosophy is 'Impossible is Nothing' I just have to ‘think different’ because ‘Success is a mind game’ I know that ‘I am what I am” so I will just ‘keep going, going and going”… and hopefully be able to say...‘I’m Lovin’ it’.

(.. as per the BBC Impartibility Disclaimer: Other -  Sport products, clothes brands, computer companies, battery products and fast food restaurants are available.... and have nice motivational slogans too...)

I am worried I will lose motivation on this journey….especially if the scales decide not to show any reflection of my hard work….  That is why I have this blog… I am hoping by telling you all what I am up to you will help keep me in check...

---- Now the good news is I have just figured out how to enable comments (I think) so please feel free to write messages telling me how SMART I am.... So Mediocre At Researching Technology... by the way that's an acronym not a mnemonic.... see I know lots of big words...

up.. up.... and away...